The King of Wands is charismatic. Striking. Determined. Visionary. Sexy. Passionate. Also: unapologetic (unless he’s trying to get into your knickers), rash, impulsive, overbearing. Are you sure about this?

Let’s get this out of the way: the court cards of the tarot were designated in a less enlightened age. Therefore, when we talk about the Kings, Queens, Knights, and Pages, they can represent any sex. The four ranks (sixteen cards in all) are merely a convenient structure representing the basic personality types.

For the purposes of this article, the King of Wands is a ‘he’. And you are smitten.

I’m not surprised. The King of Wands is charismatic. Striking. Determined. Visionary. Sexy. Passionate. Also: unapologetic (unless he’s trying to get into your knickers), rash, impulsive, overbearing.

A quick diversion here into the elemental basis of the court cards. Every court persona is allocated to one of four suits. We all know that. However, each rank is also assigned to one of the ‘elements’. Pages — earth, Knights — air, Queens — water, Kings — fire. So from that, you can deduce that the King of Swords is ‘fire of air’. So the King of Wands is ‘fire of fire’. Which tells us exactly where on the personality spectrum he lives—pure fire energy. Be careful you don’t get burned.

The Millennial King of Wands

Unlike the King of Swords, who tends to live in his own head and revels in his own cleverness, the King of Wands needs other people. He must have confirmation he is The One. The centre of attention, the leader, the influencer. His confidence and self-assuredness mean he is always the leader of his group.

He’s goal-centric. He knows his destination and is careful to surround himself with people who can help him achieve those aims. When he decides on his close friends, employees, favoured co-workers, and, yes, even his partner, he looks for qualities in them that mirror his own. But not on an equal basis, of course. He has to maintain his top dog position.

The King of Wands is not self-disciplined or well-organized. Therefore he needs a support team to do all that stuff for him. Like fire, he can be uncontrollable. Therefore some sort of containment structure is important. Kings of Wands who don’t have such support are those loose canons we encounter from time to time.

Is the King of Wands Romantic?

He can be. He is definitely charming and generous. Yet, he is often thoughtless and overbearing. He’ll forget your birthday yet surprise you with an extravagant treat or gift, simply because the idea popped into his head.

He enjoys intimacy, passion, and intensity. He is a considerate lover who is eager to learn how to please his partner. However, especially in his twenties and thirties, he is easily distracted by all the other pretty flowers in the garden, so don’t expect fidelity. If young King manages to stay faithful for a month, then you’ve done very well. It’s best to keep your expectations low.

What Does the King of Wands Look For in a Partner?

He is naturally drawn to good-looking extroverts. As I mentioned earlier, he enjoys seeing himself reflected in others. However, relationships between two fiery personalities are usually doomed—too much competition.

Although Queen of Wands types attract him, they are generally way too fiery and assertive for him. He can’t have someone who eclipses him. Even if he enjoys it, the novelty wears off if she’s getting all the attention.

As he matures, he begins to see the sense in having a mutually supportive, complementary relationship. This means he could get through one or two early marriages or long-term liaisons before settling with his life partner.

Marriage and the King of Wands

The first couple of marriages are likely to be trial runs. He tends to stay friends with his exes because he sees no reason not to. He is reliable when it comes to taking care of his children — often, they are the ones who engender extraordinary depths of love in his heart.

His ideal partner is fairly placid, yet she is also just as strong and determined as he is. She must be prepared to assert herself if he is doing the King Dick thing. For sure, there will be fights, yet the King of Wands is not stupid; given a period of reflection, he will usually see the wisdom in apologizing.

Mrs Wands is a tempering influence on her husband’s fiery nature. She’s not a dousing bucket of water; she is more likely to be a guiding hand on his arm. She encourages him to work within certain boundaries when appropriate while cheering him on when he strikes out on a new path, taking risks as he does so.

As Mrs Wands, you’ll probably have your own career, and with any luck, it will be in a different arena to that of your husband. You may have to endure a somewhat chaotic domestic situation because you won’t get a great deal of help from King Wand. He doesn’t see the mess. Get a cleaner.

The King of Wands and Parental Responsibilities

He’s a good father, although he may tend to undermine his partner at times. He encourages anarchy in his kids and thinks that breaking boundaries is a good thing. He enjoys seeing his children as sparks from his own fire. He fans their little flames, encouraging them to explore their world and to reach their own goals.

There are times when he is not such a good father. During times of personal strife or public pressure. He’ll leave them to their own devices, or rather those of his partner. He’s the sort who thinks his child will understand if he doesn’t show up to the game because he had an unexpected meeting with a potential, influential contact.

When Things Go Wrong

Let’s say Mrs Wands has had enough of playing second fiddle and decides to walk out on her husband. He’s shocked — how could anyone possibly leave him? After all, he’s always been the one to move on first, usually even before ending the current dalliance.

But he’s on his own now.

There are several routes he might take. He turns on the charm offensive to woo Mrs Wands back. It often works because she really has loved him for a long time.

If she continues to rebuff him or stay out of contact, he might go back on the razzle and live as he did in his young stag days. He hasn’t lost any of that old charm, so the women (and men) are still attracted to the old devil.

When that turns out to be an empty and unrewarding option, he could wallow in self-pity for a while, or he could throw himself into his work. He’ll be taking more risks and making unsuitable alliances.

He may land on his feet and find another suitable Mrs Wands to accompany him into the sunset years.

All the above is speculation, of course. However, his basic traits will always assert themselves and determine his reactions and actions—fire of fire.

Should You Stay With a King of Wands?

Usually, it’s not your decision, especially while he is relatively youthful. But if you are the chosen one, you’ll probably enjoy a rewarding but somewhat exasperating life. One thing is for certain: you will never be bored.

Originally published by the author at Medium.

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