Back in the late 1990s, I discovered that anyone could embrace witchcraft. You didn’t need any special powers or heritage; you only needed the willingness to learn and sometimes suspend logic. Modern witchcraft is a spiritual practice with roots in history and folklore. I loved it all, apart from one thing—the huge interest in love spells.
Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash
At first, I simply thought that it was a corny offshoot of ‘real’ witchcraft. But references to love spells seemed to be everywhere. People asking for them… others selling them and promising ‘complete satisfaction’.
As time passed, I realized how unethical they are. I’m going to explain why I think that no one should practice casting love spells that involve targeting other individuals.
Understanding Authentic Witchcraft
Witchcraft is rooted in the natural world; that’s the basis for everything: ritual, magick, and beliefs. Everything in witchcraft is connected to nature and specifically energy. It utilizes and honours the interconnectedness of all living beings… and also non-sentient elements. We are all part of a vast web via the all-permeating, vibrational universal energy.
Some of the core principles of modern witchcraft include reverence for nature, belief in the power of intention, the pursuit of harmony, and respect for personal autonomy and free will.
That last point is important in witchcraft. Ethical witches acknowledge that everyone has the right to make their own choices in life. After all, in the past, witches themselves were subject to brutal discrimination for the most minor perceived ‘differences’.
My Anti-Love Spell Surprised Me
Although I loved immersing myself in witchcraft, I couldn’t see how a spell could influence another person’s feelings and behaviour. Until I did it for myself.
My spell wasn’t a love spell. In fact, it was the opposite. My boyfriend had moved in with me and it wasn’t going well. The flat was too small and we argued a lot. I thought it would be better for him to go back to his own place, some 150 miles away so put together a spell to send him home, thinking it might be cathartic and give me the confidence to ask him to leave. The next day I performed the spell and chanted the words like a mantra.
I didn’t even have the chance to ask him to go. Within two days, he abruptly told me he was going home—and off he went.
The trouble was, we really liked each other; it was just the overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia I couldn’t stand.
Weeks and months passed. We kept in touch, but he was conflicted. He didn’t know where he wanted to be. He was unhappy. It was strange, and I started to worry about his well-being. I realized the spell had worked all too efficiently and was mortified that I’d done this to him.
To cut a long story short, we eventually got together properly, bought our own home and are still together 24 years later.
But I was well out of order casting that spell. I never tried anything like that again.
How Love Spells Work
It seems impossible, even to me, and I know they work. How can anyone change someone’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviour? Well, it happens all the time. Look at the power of advertising, peer pressure, and persuasive techniques such as instilling fear into people.
Targeted spells might be even more effective. Person A wants to influence Person B. A holds B as their focus and ‘transmits’ their intention by using various tools. These tools may be physical in nature, such as oils, incense, candles, etc. Or they may be spoken or written words. Usually, it’s a combination of both. These tools are merely aids to focus.
A’s will is concentrated, directed at B, and ‘released’ at the culmination of the spell.
The idea is that the energy released can cause shifts in the other person’s energetic field. These shifts may result in a change in consciousness, feelings, thoughts, and ultimately actions. In other words, person B is being thoroughly manipulated by person A.
Who Uses Love Spells?
I would guess from responses to my other witchcraft articles that it is mainly people with little life experience—teenagers perhaps. But older people indulge in them too. It must require a certain level of desperation to resort to using love spells.
Some spells claim to help you get a specific person to notice you. Some say they can get your ex back. Others are more general, and therefore not quite so bad, in that they will attract love into your life.
The media is often to blame for people turning to magick to get themselves a relationship. Movies often portray love spells as benign and romantic methods to harness the supernatural for romance. In real life, they can be far from benign.
So anyone in a slightly vulnerable state of mind or of an easily-led disposition may be attracted to the idea of casting spells to get their guy (or girl). It seems to be an easy way to get what you want. The problem is, the consequences can be devastating.
Witchcraft is rooted in nature. Image by Viktorija Golubić from Pixabay
Magickal Manipulation vs. Genuine Connection
Genuine love is based on mutual respect. There is trust, reciprocity, and a certain kind of chemistry. Magickally manipulated relationships are not like that. For one thing, there cannot be trust when energetic bonds are forced upon someone.
The person who cast the spell will always be wondering when it will wear off. They may feel they need to repeat or strengthen the spell periodically. The ‘victim’ might be puzzled as to why they feel they must stay with this person even though, deep down they know the relationship is questionable. It’s an illusion, a pastiche of true affection. It’s lacking that crucial foundation that holds people together in a love match.
A genuine connection changes, develops, and of course, sometimes dies. A spell-based one stays artificially the same unless the spellcaster loses interest.
The Dangers of Love Spells
Casting a love spell messes with someone’s free will. Forcing someone to fall in love can result in all kinds of bad. From emotional distress to heartbreak to mental illness.
Also, anyone becoming involved in witchcraft learns right off the bat that the Law of Return or karma is a fundamental aspect. Whatever you put out, you get back. Some even say your just desserts (good or bad) come back to you threefold.
The Worst Can Happen
I read an example of a serious consequence on a forum many years ago. A middle-aged woman described how, in her youth, she saw a love spell in Cosmopolitan and decided it would be fun to capture the attention of a local lad she quite liked. And anyway, it looked like fun. So she performed the spell. And forgot about it.
She was amazed when the guy showed up at her door the next evening. He asked if he could come in. The girl let him in although her parents weren’t home. He proceeded to sexually assault her until she managed to get out of the house.
The woman said she decided to study witchcraft in order to understand what had happened but she personally avoided anything to do with spell-casting.
Another woman played around with mixing magick with a vision board. She collected images of her ideal partner and stuck them into a collage. Once she was satisfied she’d gathered everything she needed to manifest her perfect mate, she cast a spell.
It took a few months but eventually, she met the man of her dreams. He had such a lot going for him. Good looking, loving, a career that fitted with hers—life couldn’t be better. However, he had a dark side. He was a functioning alcoholic. His drinking had a detrimental effect on the relationship and eventually, the woman had to cast a spell to break their bond.
When she dug out the mini vision board, she noticed the guy in the picture she’d chosen to represent her ideal man was holding a glass of wine.
The Issue of Consent
Most love spells are cast by Person A without the knowledge of Person B and are therefore non-consensual. Such spells violate personal boundaries and go against the authentic witchcraft practice that is necessary for any true universal law-abiding witch.
You, if you are considering using love spells, have no idea the effect you could have on the other person. The consequences of your actions could ripple through the years, devastating their life and yours.
And you have no right to impose your will on another without their consent. Ask yourself if you would like someone to cast a manipulative spell in your direction.
There Must be Some Good Love Spells
After all, love is a beautiful thing, right?
Yes, there are certain kinds of love spells that you can do ethically. They are all about acknowledging and deepening the love within you. They are not about anyone else, or trying to attract some real or imaginary partner.
Here’s an easy tarot spell that enables romantic love to enter your life without infringing on anyone’s free will: Simple Tarot Spell To Attract Romance
Open Your Heart Spell
Focus on attracting love by opening your own heart to love’s possibilities. Imagine yourself as being made of love (in fact, you are; it’s that old universal energy). When you constantly hold this vision of yourself, you become eminently more lovable.
Carry a Charm
Choose a rose quartz crystal or some other object that represents love. It might be a seashell you found or a button that reminds you of your childhood. Every time you see or touch it, it will remind you that love is wrapped around you.
Create a Love-Thyself Ritual
There are many versions of this kind of ritual. A good one is a warm bubble bath by candlelight. Set your attention that for this designated time, your focus is on yourself. Visualize the space as sacred. See the water cleansing your mind and soul. Washing away negativity and bringing in love.
Last Words
I hope you have a positive experience of learning and using witchcraft. And I do hope you take my advice to heart. I have seen lives ruined by love spells… and, as described above, I almost did it myself.
Avoid working spells that may adversely affect other people. Never be tempted into working such spells on behalf of someone else. Keep the aim of authenticity and ethical witchcraft at the forefront of your practice.
Happy spell-casting.
Have You Ever Cast a Love Spell?
I’d enjoy reading about your experience. Did it work? Do you have any regrets or was there a good outcome?